I rack-a disciprine

Attended a karate class with my brother and had a lot of fun. Here's hoping I can do it again the next time I have a Friday off.

Like, a month from now. Sigh.

Out of sight, out of mind

Lunch today was a can of Pellegrino blood orange soda. Never had one before, it was very good. Then I got a taco salad at Joe's with ground beef, sour cream, guacamole, and several other veggies. Ate the shell along with some chips and salsa. I don't even want to think about the calories and carbs I just scarfed down.

Kirkland TP

If you ever get caught short in public, Costco generally has fairly nice restrooms. Being able to take care of business trauma free is worth the $55 dollar membership right there.

Back on the wagon

Breakfast was two hard-boiled eggs and dark roast coffee with half and half. Gotta get some fat to stop the stomach rumbling.

Midnight "snack"

Watched a couple hours of Farm Kings with my brother and his wife. Somehow it made eating half a box of Boo Berry not seem so bad.

Almost made it

Had a great big dinner.  Started out doing well with a tuna medallion cooked medium rare, dressed up with a little salt, pepper, and lemon juice. Had a bag of frozen steamed vegetables-broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, green beans, and water chestnuts, topped with a couple tablespoons of soy sauce. Another cup of collard greens, with the standard apple cider vinegar and a splash of EVOO. Then a cup or so of kimchi.

Stopping there would have been fine, but nooo, I had to dress up another four ounces or so of ham with honey mustard, then make a dessert out of a Fiber One bar and a muffin my sister in law made.

So.close.

Weigh in

According to the scale in the men's room at the Flying J truck stop in Wytheville,  VA, I weigh 280.0 pounds. That's about 115 more than I weighed in high school, but 55 less than I weighed a year and a half ago. I wish I could say it was because I had been trying to eat better, but most of that is probably because I stopped taking the drug Actos, without consulting a doctor or anything.

Resolved: that I will visit a doctor soon. Within the next month or two for sure.

Sinful snack

Not that I deserved it, but I indulged in a couple squares of dark chocolate infused with chili. That's like 1/6 of the bar, and it's 120 calories and 10 carb grams. The good part was I didn't want to eat the rest of the bar after that. Though I am looking forward to supper.

A certain urgency

Eating all that food must have pushed everything on down. Followed brunch up with a no-strainer that cleaned up nicely. Kinda greenish, which shouldn't be too surprising.

Brunching it up

Woke up at the crack of noon. Well, noon thirty anyway. Was actually feeling pretty hungry and had a big meal

1 cup Greek yogurt with 1.5 oz blueberries
Turnip greens with apple cider vinegar
4oz of ham lunch meat slathered with a couple tablespoons of honey mustard
4oz canned mushrooms
Topped it off with a big cup of Echinacea/godenseal tea. It was bitter, but it's supposed to be good for the immune system.

A Big Ol' Dinner

Kinda went overboard at supper time. Did a big fry up with some leftover ground beef (grassfed for the win!) and black beans, some onion, a can of mushrooms, and four eggs. Slathered on some hot sauce (Tapatio for the win!) and heated up some frozen broccoli with butter sauce and spinach (Green Giant for the win!) Threw some balsamic and apple cider vinegar on the spinach. Had a nice cup of green tea and about two ounces of cabernet sauvignon with it, and didn't leave anything behind.

Followed it up with a massive BM. Ah, the magic of greens.

Veggie lunch

Had about a half cup of sauerkraut and a cup or so of turnip greens with a standard portion (a shot glass) of apple cider vinegar. Yay me.

And a Chips Ahoy!® Gooey Fudge cookie. That fudge packs 75 calories into a single cookie. Fuck me.

Liquid breakfast

One scoop vanilla flavored whey isolate powder
Two tablespoons potato starch
Two tablespoons EVOO

All stirred up in a glass. Tastes as good as it sounds.

Second dinner

Self abuse isn't just a euphemism for masturbation. It's also when you polish off two orders of chicken wings, then go to Taco Bell and get a #1 (Burrito Supreme, Taco Supreme, large Baja Blast) with an extra bean burrito and a side of rice and beans. Fuck you, pancreas!

I had been feeling pretty good until then, even went so far as to buy a new pair of jeans, which I literally haven't worn in years. A year ago, I was buying chinos with a 44-46 inch waist. Today, they're a 40. Here's hoping eating healthy tomorrow will bring some of that feeling back.

A really terrible dinner

Dinner was 16 chicken wings, half in buffalo sauce and half in Wingstreet's Spicy Asian sauce, which is probably loaded with sugar. Otherwise, it would have been low carb, at least.

An okay lunch

A hot dog, even an awesome Costco dog covered in deli mustard and onions, doesn't really do much for me. So about an hour later, because I was in Winston, I had a shrimp and spinach salad at Hooters with bleu cheese dressing. Oh, and a bottle of Yeungling. Somehow I never seem to get the cheerful flirty waitress at Hooters. Maybe that will change if I get down to a healthy weight.

Or maybe I just give off autistic mojo.

Not the best breakfast ever

Renewed my Costco membership today, which means of course that I had to get the $1.50 hot dog and soda special. Instead of soda, I had a couple sips of soda water (the burps are the best part) and lots of deli mustard and onions on my dog. 500 calories, and a day's worth of carbs if I'm trying to stay under 50 grams. Hell, maybe two days.

Cheat day

Ugh. Didn't post yesterday because I was ashamed. I gorged myself all day, starting at midnight. I had an RC cola with a cinnamon bun and a pack of Cheetos from a vending machine. Then a bottle of chocolate milk and a slab of pepper jack cheese. After sleeping a little, I went to Pizza Hut for their lunch buffet and had six slices of pizza with two giant scoops of pasta in meat and cheese sauce, with two glasses of Pepsi to wash it down. Oh, and a plate of salad. Then I got some wings to go, for more self-abuse. Had those with a few olives.

I ordered some Mexican takeout for my little sister, and a Burger King combo for myself. Original chicken sandwich, fries, and a raspberry ginger ale. With an extra Rodeo cheeseburger because I hate myself.

Because my sister is a tiny waif, I wound up eating her two beef tacos, most of a bag of tortilla chips, and some salsa, which along with the olives-oh, and a stevia cream soda, was the only healthy thing I ate today.

And then because I hate myself and my pancreas, I had a Mountain Dew Kickstart around 10PM.

After writing all that out, I'm really not wanting to admit to all that again. Next Monday will probably be a cheat day as well, but I don't want it to be nearly as extreme.

And the war crime I committed in the men's room of Lowe's grocery is also a pretty strong motivator to eat better.

Late night supper

Pretty good eats, but probably more calories than I needed for the day.

4.5oz of tuna-olive oil and garlic flavor
1 can of olives-6oz net weight.

Something like 75% fat, all good stuff.

More nibbles

Couldn't pass up on a pack of Trident gum and a 2oz pack of cheddar cheese, but I should have.

Nibbles

Noshed on another 2oz peppered beef stick. That's probably enough protein for the day.

Midday snack

Well, midday if you keep weird hours.

A 20oz cup of dark roast coffee with a heavy splash of half and half
1oz Jack Link's Original Beef Stick. Not the best thing to put in your body, but it's only 2 carbs, and delightfully greasy.

Feeling well-rested and focused, although that may just be because I'm not driving through a Wyoming snowstorm with an iced over windshield like
I was last night.

Sunday feast

Woke up with a few hours to go before driving, so I pigged out:

5 chicken wings, no breading, mildly hot, with some Ken's bleu cheese sauce
Pretty unsatisfying, but what do you expect from a truck stop deli?
The last 4oz of turkey lunch meat, dressed up with mustard and mayo
A few forkfuls of sauerkraut, leaving about 1/2 cup for later
A half can of turnip greens (with turnip root!), doused in vinegar.
A 20oz Dr. Pepper 10
A sip of EVOO, call it a teaspoon

Not a lot of good fat in this meal, and I really should be checking my blood sugar levels to see if artificial sweeteners like in Dr. Pepper and gum are making them spike.

Like winning the lottery

That's what finding a relatively clean truck stop restroom to take care of business in feels like. The essence of the tragedy of the commons, writ large.

Late night munchies

Had a 2oz jerky stick and a couple hard boiled eggs around 2 am. Good stuff, and way less glycemic stress than an English muffin.

Om nom nom

Was starting to feel a bit hungry, so I headed that off with a huge-ass lunch:

5 hard boiled eggs, with salt and pepper
2oz bag of pork rinds
A bag of mixed nuts, no salt. I make it with 1/4 cup of walnuts, 12 almonds, 4 Brazil nuts, and a half teaspoon of pine nuts. Very calorie dense, so I need to take it easy the rest of the day.

Laying cable

Dark, solid, well-formed. What a relief.

Morning feast

Had a big breakfast to try and keep the metabolic furnace stoked, even though I wasn't really hungry.

Somewhere between 4 and 6 ounces of sliced turkey, dressed up with a packet of mayo and a packet of mustard. I steal the good condiments from Panera.
Half a can of collard greens, doused in a shot of apple cider vinegar
A couple sips of EVOO. No more than two tablespoons, I'd say.

Turkey lunch meat is pretty unsatisfying all around. I'll be glad to see the last little bit of this pound-sized package gone.

Lost weekend

Didn't get to post yesterday, as I had to hit the ground running and start delivering some furniture. After my phone died in the wee hours of Friday morning, I had something like six more beers and an Irish car bomb. So.with the booze and the Mexican food, call it 2500 calories, with I don't even want to think how many carbs. Still, I had fun watching ice skating and getting sloppy drunk.

Woke up with a decent hangover, with a headache and feeling a bit unfocused. Just how you want to feel when you're dealing with Portland traffic! I didn't feel much like eating after that, but managed to choke down:

3 hard-boiled eggs, with a packet of iodized salt and pepper
A 20oz cup of coffee with a splash of half and half
2 Jack Link's jerky sticks, 4oz total

Got a little bit of exercise shuffling couches around on the back of the trailer, so other than spending five hours drinking, Friday was a smashing baby steps success.

Addendum

I should note that I am getting a really decent buzz off three beers. This low carb healthy eating thing may have its benefits.

Stumbling

I may.have gotten exuberant when payday rolled around and my direct deposit went through. I may have bought a carne asada takeout tray with a Mexican apple soda and then drank three beers while watching Olympic ice skating at a bar in Portland.

Back on the wagon.

Lunch + dinner= Linner?

Ah, Jack Link's, purveyor of fine jerky products. I made a 3.25 oz bag of their BBQ pork jerky the protein base of my evening meal, with a half can (call it a cup) of collard greens doused in an ounce or so of apple cider vinegar. For dessert I had a heaping spoonful of coconut oil, as the 18 grams of carbs in the jerky was a bit high. Will probably make my way through a couple packs of gum today as well.

Squeeze and relax

On the advice of my gym rat little sister, I've started squeezing my stomach muscles as hard as I can while still breathing and holding it as long as possible. The still breathing part is important, because I don't want to.pass out behind the wheel.

Salad for breakfast??!?

Woke up in Post Falls, ID, at the Flying J truck stop with an hour to go before delivering furniture in Spokane. After a satisfying, non-traumatic deuce (see below), I got a big ass BLT salad from the Subway there. I'm gonna Jared it up all in this bitch, yo! All the veggies except pickles, and four strips of bacon. No cheese, and a little plastic cup of their red wine vinegar. After putting on about three tablespoons of EVOO (hell, let's call it four, fat people have no idea about portion size) it would have been decadent enough, but I went ahead and threw on some more sliced turkey lunch meat, say four ounces or so. Call it in the neighborhood of 800-900 calories, a good 60% of them from the EVOO. Feeling blissfully replete right now.

Mind over matter

I realize this is probably asking for karmic retribution, but I am pretty lucky in that if I am travelling and in a place where I can poop without too much trauma, I will, and if there isn't a good place to go...I don't have to, usually.

There was one time in the desert outside Barstow that was a notable exception, but I'm blaming that on some questionable fish. It was a great learning experience in how much cleaning you can get done with a handful of napkins from the glovebox and a pair of underwear.

At any rate, I started the day with a pretty satisfying deuce. Kinda sloppy, but no strain.

Late dinner

I really have to commend the Town Pump chain of truck stops and gas stations in Montana. Their deli section has a decent array of healthy-ish choices. Their chef's salad is pretty basic-diced tomatoes, shredded cheddar, and a sliced hard-boiled egg, but it's on top of a decent amount of lettuce (iceberg, but better than nothing), and it goes well with some Bragg's Healthy Vinaigrette. I had that and a couple deviled eggs. Good times.

Snack time

Was bordering on feeling peckish, so I had:

1.5oz plain pork rinds
A handful of turkey lunch meat-maybe 3 oz or so?
A sip of EVOO-call it a teaspoon.

400 calories, say, with no carbs to speak of.

Brain fog

Felt a little unfocused and out of it for a few hours after breakfast yesterday. I've heard it's to be expected when you start low carbing it, but didn't expect it so soon. It's probably not noteworthy, but I want to have a record in case it comes back.

Lunch time!

Had a quick lunch on the run consisting of:

2 hard boiled eggs
1.5oz dry roasted almonds
Dark roast coffee with a double splash of half and half

That's in the ballpark of 400 calories, 23 grams of protein, 13 grams carbs, and 30 grams of fat. A pretty decent macronutrient ratio, although I probably should leave the dairy out. Maybe almond milk?

Oh, and how could I forget:

St. John's Wort: 3 500mg pills, twice a day. I tend to be a little bit depressive and after about six weeks of the Wort, I noticed my level of background dread receding. After another month or two, I started to just feel unaccountably ok with my life and also that maybe I could improve it with some work. Hence this blog.

Pills, pills pills

I take a fistful of pills and supplements in an attempt to stave off the meds that made me gain weight and be (more) depressed. They are:

Fish oil: 4 1000mg capsules, twice a day
Multivitamin: 1 horse pill, once a day. Keeps the scurvy and rickets away.
Vitamin D3: 2000IU, twice a day. It's hard for me to get sunlight that isn't filtered through a windshield.
Turmeric: it can't hurt, right? One pill, twice a day.
CoQ10: 300mg horse pill, once a day. Now that I'm trying to lose weight, it may start doing me some good.
Ginger: 2 550mg pills, twice a day. Supposed to help regulate blood pressure and prevent kidney damage. I have a friend who is in end stage renal failure and it doesn't look fun.
Cinnamon: 3 500mg pills, twice a day. I buy a Walmart brand that also has chromium. Supposed to help regulate blood sugar.
Kelp: 550mg pill, once a day. I don't use much salt, so. I want to be sure I get enough iodine.
Magnesium: 500mg pill, twice a day. Most people don't get enough, and if you're overweight like I am, you probably aren't absorbing minerals properly. So a little overkill here.
Potassium: 1 pill, not sure of the amount, once a day.
Niacin: 1 500mg pill. I buy the timed release Slo-Niacin brand. At one point I was on the prescription form, but it gave me the occasional flush. With Slo-Niacin I've had a couple flushes, but they were minor in comparison. Supposed to help regulate cholesterol, and I'm not going on statins unless they're forced on me.

I'll talk about prescriptions I used to take at a later date, and get a baseline for where my blood sugar and cholesterol numbers are in a week or so.

Morning deuce

Nothing like a big healthy dump to start the day, the kind that just slides out like a baby rhino coming into the world, but with way less cleanup. The kind that leaves you feeling lighter on your feet with a skip in your step.

Breakfast of champions

Wasn't really hungry, but managed to force down:

Two hard-boiled eggs
1/2 cup sauerkraut
A swig of EVOO

And of course, a fistful of vitamins. More on those later.

On not letting perfect be the enemy of the good

So during my shift today I chewed my way through two packs of sugarfree gum. Not very paleo, and possibly agitating to blood sugar levels, but tastier than the inside of my cheek. For dinner I enjoyed the following:

1.5oz Sweet Southern Heat pork rinds
1/2 cup turnip greens doused with a couple tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup sauerkraut-Bubbie's semi-pasteurized, wonderfully crunchy

Call it another 400 calories including the gum, and no real hunger today. I'd like to work more vegetables in going forward, but being on the road means a lot of them have to be canned, which means getting BPA. Right now I'm focusing on macronutrients, calories, and portion size, and when I feel like I have that under control, I'll start looking for a better source of veggies.

Baby steps

Managed to get in about ten minutes of walking in during my federally mandated half hour break. Go me.

Paleo Brunch

Started off w/a huge meal consisting of:

5 hard-boiled eggs
8oz corned beef (Boar's Head is the bomb, yo)
A shot of Bragg's apple cider vinegar and a shot of EVOO (California Olive Ranch)
Coffee with just a splash of half and half

Macronutrient wise, it's well over 60% fat with about 935 calories, 91 grams of protein, and less than 10 cars. And I probably won't be terribly hungry when I have a light dinner around 9 or so.