Really wanted something to eat

Could have gotten pizza or a sub, got five eggs and a 2 ounce stick of medium cheddar instead. Go me.

Hey there, how's it goin'?

Calories today: 1750
Net carbs: 20-28g (depending on how much fiber is in sauerkraut)
Protein: 112g
Fat: 132g, give or take

Breakfast was four boiled eggs with light salt (light as in half potassium chloride) and two 20oz cups of coffee with a tablespoon or so of half and half. Lunch was a 2.5 ounce bag of pork rinds with 3 ounces of almonds. Supper was 3 ounces of salami, 4 ounces of mackerel in sunflower oil (drained), a 14 ounce can of turnip greens with apple cider vinegar, and a 14.5 ounce can of sauerkraut.

My poor teeth.

Funniest video ever

Nicki Minaj - Anaconda (Fart Remix): http://youtu.be/fv--npievoI

If I'm not postin', I'm sinnin'

Ate healthy today. Haven't been since the last post. Already pissing less, so that's a good sign.

Angry fruit

Some days you just can't help but to piss off a Kiwi.

Elevenses

Ate a truck stop veggie cup-celery, broccoli, carrot sticks, grape tomatoes-raw, because that is the way I roll. Also had a Fuji apple from Trader Joe's. It was kind of mushy and bland and not very satisfying. What the hell, TJ's?

Uh oh

Suddenly had a yearning to listen to some XTC. To make things worse, I found "Sargasso Bar" on YouTube, a song that didn't make it onto Go 2, my least favorite album.

It sounded pretty good.

Livin' on the edge

Breakfast was four tablespoons of chia seeds (Bob's Red Mill) and four tablespoons of hemp  seeds (shelled, Bob's Red Mill also) with a little water added to make a sort of cereal. Didn't taste bad, sort of like plain oatmeal. Also had five boiled eggs because I am a disgusting pig. Seasoned the eggs with a sauce made from one packet each of mayo, mustard, and hot sauce (KFC). Had my usual pint of coffee with half and half as well.

No matter how well you try to chew them up, there will be little chia seed husks in your poop.

Feeling like I'm just on the edge of buzzed. I really hope it's low blood sugar and not the hemp.

I also really hope that I don't get busted at a border patrol stop for carrying seeds I bought at Whole Foods.

Ugh.

Lunch was a can of sauerkraut (8 ounces), a can of chicken with a packet of mayo and a packet of mustard (5 ounces)- or as I like to call it, chicken salad for one, and then about a cup and a half or so of almonds. Something really didn't agree with me and I've had stomach cramps ever since.

Stopped at a McDonald's and got a McDouble and an unsweetened tea later. Couldn't finish the sandwich, so I  guess that's good. Still in a fair amount of discomfort, though.

Woke up hungry

So I had some Hormel Hot Beef With Gravy®(7.5 ounces) and a three ounce packet of salami that I just noticed also came from Hormel. Then a smallish Granny Smith, because that was too much Hormel.

Had another smallish Granny Smith

Good traveling food. Nom nom nom.

Fujis are also really good.

Breakfast in Russelville, AR

5 boiled eggs, a Granny Smith apple (smallish), 3 ounces of salami, and a 24 ounce cup of coffee with an ounce or so of half and half plus a packet of Irish Creme flavor.

I've been urinating less, which means my blood sugar should be coming down.

Midnight nosh

Had a 3 ounce pack of dried apricots and a 3 ounce pack of pepperoni slices after midnight. I didn't turn into a gremlin, but I'm pretty sure the apricots contributed to the massive dump I took the next day.

Good times.

Big fat supper

Supper was a can of mustard greens with apple cider vinegar, a handful of macadamia nuts with salt, a handful of unsalted almonds, and a bunch of pumpkin seeds. Call it a cup or so.

Did some leg lifts while lying on my back. I can hold my legs up at a 33° or so angle for about fifteen seconds. Need to work on that.

A bit much fish

Late lunch was two 5 ounce cans of tuna and a 5 ounce can of salmon, each topped with a packet of mayonnaise. Followed that with an 8 ounce can of sauerkraut and swig (say, a tablespoon?) of EVOO.

Back again

Breakfast was four boiled eggs, two ounces of Colby Jack cheforums se, and a pint of coffee with half and half. Gonna try and get a little exercise today as well.

I've been checking out the reddit forums r/keto and r/weight loss.  Hopefully there will be enough new post churn to keep me motivated.

Top o' the world, ma!

Brunch consisted of the following:

Can of beets-just beets, water, and salt.
Can of mustard greens-with vinegar and EVOO
Pint pack of grape tomatoes
A pack of Hormel® Sandwich Makers® Hot Beef With Gravy-6 carb grams per pack, so not too bad.

And a 20oz Dr. Pepper.

All together now:

FUCK YOU, PANCREAS!

So far, so good

Breakfast was two boiled eggs, two ounces of beef jerky, a bottle of V8 (12 ounces?), and a quart of coffee with a couple packets of half and half. Gotta keep it up.

Catching up

Lunch wasn't quite as bad as I'd feared. I had a grilled fish entree with steamed veggies and garlic bread. It came with a soup and salad bar so I got a bowl of chicken noodle soup (boo) and a plate of salad -lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, shredded cheddar, eggs, beets- with Italian dressing and a garlic breadstick. Also ate a roll with the various table jellies because strawberry jelly and marmalade are awesome.

Figuring the day was shot after that,  I stopped in Flatonia, Texas for a Dr. Pepper made with real cane sugar. There is a little truck stop at exit 661 on I-10 that is the only place I have ever seen it. And since you might as well get hanged for a sheep as a lamb, I went to the McDonald's there and got a bacon cheddar McChicken and bacon McDouble sandwich with a couple of apple pies.

Take that, pancreas!

It's not gonna be a good day

Had another 11.5 ounces of OJ and a sip of EVOO. Gonna do lunch with my sister and her kids later. There will be bread.

Truck stop Livin'

Breakfast was two boiled eggs, two ounces of medium sharp cheddar, a pint of dark roast coffee with half and half, and 11.5 ounces of OJ because my throat is still a little sore when I wake up.

I've also started taking bilberry pills. They're supposed to be good for vision and blood sugar. They'll stain the shit out of your tongue if you chew them up, I can tell you that.

Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl

Nothing like a massive dump to start the day.

Bored, mindless eating

Had a pack of nuts (hand measured, who knows how many  calories), and a 3oz pack of pepperoni and a 5oz jar of whole olives (they take longer to eat because you have to eat around the pits) not because I was hungry but because I was bored. Part of the wonder of modern life.

"snax"

Post-lunch snack was a pack of peanut butter crackers (250 calories, 31 carbs) and a fruit punch Kickstart.

Because I want to go blind and have my feet amputated, that's why.

Lunch, Jared style

Had a footlong tuna on wheat. Avocado, lettuce, tomato, mayo, onions, green peppers, olives, mayo, and Swiss cheese. Of course, I had to make it a meal deal with a bag of jalapeno potato chips and a quart of Sunkist soda. My blood sugar must be through the roof.

Jerky is the shizz

Breakfast was coffee with half and half and sugar in the form of a Hershey chocolate/caramel packet, a can of plum nectar (sooo tasty) and a 1.75 oz pack of beef jerky. Need some fat.

A day's worth of food

Breakfast was five hard boiled eggs, a pint of coffee with half and half and a packet of Sugar In The Raw, and 11.5 ounces of OJ to soothe my sore throat.

Fuck you, pancreas!

Lunch was from Subway. A foot long Italian with cheese and veggies, and three chocolate chip cookies. Washed down, of course, with a couple of Kickstarts.

All the money I've spent at Subway, and I still look more like Jared's "before" picture. Go figure.

Truck stop breakfast

A pint of dark roast coffee with a half ounce or so of half and half
11.5 ounces orange juice
(yeah, it's as bad as a Pepsi, but I can't seem to shake this bitch of a cold, and it feels really good on a sore throat.)
Two hard boiled eggs
Two ounces medium sharp cheddar

According to the truck scale at the place I'm picking up at in Salinas, I weigh 280. Probably not too far off. (Past) Time to start taking my health and diet seriously.

Nibbles

Gonna finish up about half a 7.2 ounce bag of beef jerky. Call it four ounces, and it has a lot of no-no stuff like sugar and soy sauce. Need to lay off the stuff after this. Too much salt, too pricey, too many extra ingredients.

So far, so good

Breakfast was five boiled eggs with salt, pepper, and some packets of hot sauce I had laying around. They kicked it up a notch, in a good way. Also had a pint of coffee with like an ounce of half and half.

Time to start taking this shit seriously.

Dinner bell dinner bell ding

Choked down a can of collard greens with the usual two tablespoons of EVOO and four of vinegar. Good times.

Or not.

Lunch was a Pellegrino blood orange soda, a 3oz bag of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips, a Little Debbie brownie with mini M&Ms, and a sandwich consisting of a breaded chicken fillet, a slice of Swiss cheese, two strips of bacon, and two strips of mayonnaise. Because I hate myself, I guess.

Back on the wagon, for reals

Had an early breakfast of a pint of coffee with half and half, two hard boiled eggs, and a can of V8 I've been meaning to get rid of for like a year now. Looking forward to getting rid of a can of collard greens for lunch.

284.3

That's what I weighed after a breakfast at Denny's consisting of a Philly cheese steak omelette, two slices of buttered sourdough toast (with two packets each of grape and strawberry jelly), hash browns with ketchup, a couple glasses of way too sweet raspberry tea, and a Kickstart. Fruit punch flavor, of course. I'd like to set a goal of weighing 270 by the end of May, but right now 280 is sort of a plateau that's been hard for me to get under, so I'd probably be glad just to be under that.

Late lunch

20 oz dark roast coffee, with a half ounce or so of half and half
1 great big Fuji apple-satisfying crunch, but not a lot of flavor
6oz tin of herring in paprika sauce, drained. Not sure how many carbs are in this as that part of the label had been worn off the can. I tend to put off eating herring and sardines, even though they're all kinds of healthy.
3 oz pepperoni-to kill the herring and paprika flavor
1.5 oz walnuts- because they're awesome.

Total calories: around 820, 35ish carb grams, so 140 carb calories. Around 17% carbs for this meal, but hopefully the fiber in the apple and walnuts will reduce the sugar spike somewhat.

Breakfast

Orange flavor Kickstart and a croissant sandwich with ham, egg, and cheese. Not a promising start.

Ugh.

Going back on the wagon tomorrow.

Second breakfast

More coffee with half and half, plus a packet of Irish cream flavored creamer in honor of St. Paddy's Day. A Jack Link's Original Beef Stick. Two hard boiled eggs. And a 1.25 oz packet of salt and pepper cashews.

Just the facts

McDonald's for supper. Ten piece McNuggets with sweet and sour sauce, medium fries, a McDouble cheeseburger, and a medium Dr. Pepper. So much for eating healthy Sunday.

Woke up hungry, had a 7 ounce can of tune, a big swig of EVOO, and a dark roast coffee with half and half. Still kinda hungry, may have another swig of EVOO later.

Starting fresh

Because I was still in the Pacific time zone, the XXL nachos, bean burrito, and brownie I ate at 2 am in Tucson don't count, so I'll be able to say I ate healthy all day today. Breakfast is two hard boiled eggs and hazelnut coffee with a couple tablespoons of half and half. The plan is to have canned greens, veggies, and fish for the rest of the day.

Bad breakfast

Two pints of fruit punch Kickstart and two Tornados gas station grill things. Only good part was that I was hungry, which made the Tornados seem extra crispy and tasty.

Dinner from cans

Determined to eat more offal , I had a can of sardines, a can of beets, and a can of olives for dinner.

And a pint can of Dr. Pepper. I suck.

Ugh. Payday.

I shouldn't have, but I got a chicken tender meal from Chester's Chicken in Buckets, AZ. Three deep fried chicken tenders, three potato wedges, and some deep fried okra, washed down with a Kickstart.

All together now: fuck you, pancreas!

Gorged on healthy food

After getting rid of some frighteningly yellow urine, had a can of mixed turnip and collard greens with EVOO and vinegar, ten ounces of canned salmon, and a quarter cup or so of mixed nuts. Time to get back on the wagon.

Weigh in

280.5, according to the scale at the Pilot in Jamestown, NM. Up from 278.4 a few days ago. This Is Not A Good Thing. Time to start eating the healthy food I've packed and stop eating Subway. Which is what I had for breakfast again today. Basically a repeat of yesterday, but with Cherry Coke.

Fuck you, pancreas!

Why I shouldn't be allowed to have money

Breakfast was a footlong flatbread sandwich from Subway-egg patties, steak food product, and bacon, topped with tomatoes, onion, olives, and the trinity of peppers-green, banana, and jalapeno. Shredded cheddar cheese, mayonnaise, and sriracha for garnish. That wouldn't have been terrible, but then I had to drink a 32 ounce cup of Hawaiian Punch and a couple of big soft Subway cookies as well.

I'm planning a trip to Australia and New Zealand next year and it would be really nice to only have to buy one plane ticket for myself.

Lunch meat

Supper was a pack of salami and a pack of pepperoni from the dollar store. No carbs to speak of, enough sodium to get two people through a day, a decent amount of protein, and a ton of fat.

Hot dogs for breakfast

Pretty much the least healthy breakfast ever. Spent the night parked at a Sheetz and felt guilty about using their restroom without buying anything,  so breakfast was two hot dogs with mustard, onions, Boom Boom sauuce (whatever it is, I'm sure it's chock full of HFCS) and chili, 1.875 ounces of kettle cooked salt and vinegar chips, and a 16 ounce Mountain Dew Kickstart. Fruit punch flavor, of course. A 20 oz coffee with a tablespoon or so of half and hallf will have to get me to lunch.

End of day wrapup

Lunch wound up being a big ol' feast. I had a jar of olives then a jar of mixed veggies (cauliflower, carrots, onions, peppers) from the dollar store, then a couple hot dogs with chili, onions, mustard, and slaw, then some corn chips and pretzels with hot dog chili on them, then a couple of pecan spinwheels. After napping a few hours to digest all that, I had a can of beefaroni with some more chips to soak up the leftover sauce, and a can of Dr. Pepper.

After that, I watched some TLC with my mom. My 600-lb Life was the show. Talk about thinspiration. I made sure to drink a glass of ice water after that.

Rough week

Wound up being too tired with too much going on to be able to keep up with the blog for a few days. Arby's played a part in what I ate though, along with rice and beans and a big can of baked beans on top of potato chips.

Today, though, I'm back on the wagon. Breakfast was a cup of coffee with half and half, a double fistful of pills (forgot to take last night's wistful), and a double dose of fish oil since I neglected that too. Lunch is going to be canned salmon and a bag of nuts. Some gum might get chewed as well.

Big breakfast

Eggs, potatoes, Canadian bacon, sliced melons and fruit, a bagel with cream cheese and strawberry jam, a small Danish, a cup of tea and a cup of coffee.

More than enough calories to keep my sedentary ass going.

Catching up

Didn't get around to posting yesterday. A chicken strip meal from Zaxby's with French fries, a trip to McDonald's, and a Chinese buffet were involved. "Fuck you, pancreas!" should probably be a label.

And now it is.

And a healthy dinner

Was feeling pretty hungry around 5, which I choose to interpret as a sign that I'm eating when I'm hungry and not just to avoid getting hungry. I devoured:

Two tomatoes
A six ounce can of tuna
Half a can of mixed greens in apple cider vinegar
About three ounces of kimchi
Ten bleu cheese stuffed olives
Two tablespoons of coconut oil

And now I am pleasantly full.

Addendum

Make that three pieces of pizza for lunch.

Why truck drivers are fat

Domino's for lunch. I managed to hold myself down to two pieces.

Double deuces

Had a big green BM around 0630, and another one around 1050. Good greens.

Catching up

Dinner last night was all kinds of healthy. A four ounce can of tuna, a small jar of red pepper stuffed olives (6 ounces or so), half a can of mixed turnip and mustard greens with apple cider vinegar, about ten olives stuffed with bleu cheese, and a couple ounces of kimchi. Fell asleep about 2130, woke up around 0400.

Breakfast was at the hotel breakfast bar and I kinda went overboard. Two large helpings of scrambled eggs, five pieces of Canadian bacon, a bagel with cream cheese and strawberry jam. a piece of raisin toast with butter  and apple jelly, a small glass of OJ, and a large helping of potatoes, covered in Tapatio. Oh, and two packets of honey with two cups of tea.

Needed a caffeine boost around 1000, so I bought a Pepsi from a vending machine, then a 20 ounce Gatorade. 380 calories of pure sugar. Fuck you, pancreas!

Lunch munch

Lunch today was about three ounces of the best kimchi in the world. Sanja's mild, available at Whole Paycheck, but oh so good. The garlic and ginger are an amazing combination. Since I was getting pretty hungry from skipping breakfast for the physical, I also had a can of pink salmon (5oz), about four ounces of sweet yellow cherry tomatoes, and one of my self mixed bags of nuts.

Now that the physical is over, I'm definitely feeling relieved.  Georgia's DOT physical is a little more intensive than North Carolina's. Not that I had any doubts about my ability to climb a ladder or lift 25 pounds, but I was sure that with a witness involved I would screw it up somehow.

Studying for a whiz quiz

Trying to get my blood sugar down for my physical today, so no food till after lunch other than about three tablespoons of coconut oil. Also took a couple ounces of apple cider vinegar and a couple cups of bilberry tea.

The hotel has a fitness room, so a little elliptical and Bowflex is in order before heading over to the occupational health center.

Hot tub=awesome

Staying at a pretty nice hotel tonight. It has an indoor pool and a whirlpool hot tub. I splashed around for about twenty minutes and it seemed to help some soreness in my shoulders from karate.

Catching up

Was otherwise preoccupied and didn't get to write up what I ate. Shame may also have played a factor. Friday night after karate, supper was four beers. Breakfast Saturday was three eggs hard cooked in butter and doused in Texas Pete with a splash of milk in coffee. Then lunch was the buffet at Pizza Inn with a couple glasses of Coke. Let's say, about 8,000 calories in carbs. This is how I got to my current size and blood sugar levels. Then supper was a big bowl of vegetarian chili with cheese and sour cream, a meatball stuffed with rice, and a big hunk of sugary Krusteaz corn bread. Around midnight Sunday morning I had a pint of Greek yogurt with three ounces of blueberries and two hard boiled eggs. Lunch Sunday was five more hard-boiled eggs and a couple pints of coffee with half and half. Finally, supper Sunday was about three tablespoons of coconut oil with a cup of bilberry tea. Have to try and get my blood sugar down to a normal-ish range for my DOT physical tomorrow.

I rack-a disciprine

Attended a karate class with my brother and had a lot of fun. Here's hoping I can do it again the next time I have a Friday off.

Like, a month from now. Sigh.

Out of sight, out of mind

Lunch today was a can of Pellegrino blood orange soda. Never had one before, it was very good. Then I got a taco salad at Joe's with ground beef, sour cream, guacamole, and several other veggies. Ate the shell along with some chips and salsa. I don't even want to think about the calories and carbs I just scarfed down.

Kirkland TP

If you ever get caught short in public, Costco generally has fairly nice restrooms. Being able to take care of business trauma free is worth the $55 dollar membership right there.

Back on the wagon

Breakfast was two hard-boiled eggs and dark roast coffee with half and half. Gotta get some fat to stop the stomach rumbling.

Midnight "snack"

Watched a couple hours of Farm Kings with my brother and his wife. Somehow it made eating half a box of Boo Berry not seem so bad.

Almost made it

Had a great big dinner.  Started out doing well with a tuna medallion cooked medium rare, dressed up with a little salt, pepper, and lemon juice. Had a bag of frozen steamed vegetables-broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, green beans, and water chestnuts, topped with a couple tablespoons of soy sauce. Another cup of collard greens, with the standard apple cider vinegar and a splash of EVOO. Then a cup or so of kimchi.

Stopping there would have been fine, but nooo, I had to dress up another four ounces or so of ham with honey mustard, then make a dessert out of a Fiber One bar and a muffin my sister in law made.

So.close.

Weigh in

According to the scale in the men's room at the Flying J truck stop in Wytheville,  VA, I weigh 280.0 pounds. That's about 115 more than I weighed in high school, but 55 less than I weighed a year and a half ago. I wish I could say it was because I had been trying to eat better, but most of that is probably because I stopped taking the drug Actos, without consulting a doctor or anything.

Resolved: that I will visit a doctor soon. Within the next month or two for sure.

Sinful snack

Not that I deserved it, but I indulged in a couple squares of dark chocolate infused with chili. That's like 1/6 of the bar, and it's 120 calories and 10 carb grams. The good part was I didn't want to eat the rest of the bar after that. Though I am looking forward to supper.

A certain urgency

Eating all that food must have pushed everything on down. Followed brunch up with a no-strainer that cleaned up nicely. Kinda greenish, which shouldn't be too surprising.

Brunching it up

Woke up at the crack of noon. Well, noon thirty anyway. Was actually feeling pretty hungry and had a big meal

1 cup Greek yogurt with 1.5 oz blueberries
Turnip greens with apple cider vinegar
4oz of ham lunch meat slathered with a couple tablespoons of honey mustard
4oz canned mushrooms
Topped it off with a big cup of Echinacea/godenseal tea. It was bitter, but it's supposed to be good for the immune system.

A Big Ol' Dinner

Kinda went overboard at supper time. Did a big fry up with some leftover ground beef (grassfed for the win!) and black beans, some onion, a can of mushrooms, and four eggs. Slathered on some hot sauce (Tapatio for the win!) and heated up some frozen broccoli with butter sauce and spinach (Green Giant for the win!) Threw some balsamic and apple cider vinegar on the spinach. Had a nice cup of green tea and about two ounces of cabernet sauvignon with it, and didn't leave anything behind.

Followed it up with a massive BM. Ah, the magic of greens.

Veggie lunch

Had about a half cup of sauerkraut and a cup or so of turnip greens with a standard portion (a shot glass) of apple cider vinegar. Yay me.

And a Chips Ahoy!® Gooey Fudge cookie. That fudge packs 75 calories into a single cookie. Fuck me.

Liquid breakfast

One scoop vanilla flavored whey isolate powder
Two tablespoons potato starch
Two tablespoons EVOO

All stirred up in a glass. Tastes as good as it sounds.

Second dinner

Self abuse isn't just a euphemism for masturbation. It's also when you polish off two orders of chicken wings, then go to Taco Bell and get a #1 (Burrito Supreme, Taco Supreme, large Baja Blast) with an extra bean burrito and a side of rice and beans. Fuck you, pancreas!

I had been feeling pretty good until then, even went so far as to buy a new pair of jeans, which I literally haven't worn in years. A year ago, I was buying chinos with a 44-46 inch waist. Today, they're a 40. Here's hoping eating healthy tomorrow will bring some of that feeling back.

A really terrible dinner

Dinner was 16 chicken wings, half in buffalo sauce and half in Wingstreet's Spicy Asian sauce, which is probably loaded with sugar. Otherwise, it would have been low carb, at least.

An okay lunch

A hot dog, even an awesome Costco dog covered in deli mustard and onions, doesn't really do much for me. So about an hour later, because I was in Winston, I had a shrimp and spinach salad at Hooters with bleu cheese dressing. Oh, and a bottle of Yeungling. Somehow I never seem to get the cheerful flirty waitress at Hooters. Maybe that will change if I get down to a healthy weight.

Or maybe I just give off autistic mojo.

Not the best breakfast ever

Renewed my Costco membership today, which means of course that I had to get the $1.50 hot dog and soda special. Instead of soda, I had a couple sips of soda water (the burps are the best part) and lots of deli mustard and onions on my dog. 500 calories, and a day's worth of carbs if I'm trying to stay under 50 grams. Hell, maybe two days.

Cheat day

Ugh. Didn't post yesterday because I was ashamed. I gorged myself all day, starting at midnight. I had an RC cola with a cinnamon bun and a pack of Cheetos from a vending machine. Then a bottle of chocolate milk and a slab of pepper jack cheese. After sleeping a little, I went to Pizza Hut for their lunch buffet and had six slices of pizza with two giant scoops of pasta in meat and cheese sauce, with two glasses of Pepsi to wash it down. Oh, and a plate of salad. Then I got some wings to go, for more self-abuse. Had those with a few olives.

I ordered some Mexican takeout for my little sister, and a Burger King combo for myself. Original chicken sandwich, fries, and a raspberry ginger ale. With an extra Rodeo cheeseburger because I hate myself.

Because my sister is a tiny waif, I wound up eating her two beef tacos, most of a bag of tortilla chips, and some salsa, which along with the olives-oh, and a stevia cream soda, was the only healthy thing I ate today.

And then because I hate myself and my pancreas, I had a Mountain Dew Kickstart around 10PM.

After writing all that out, I'm really not wanting to admit to all that again. Next Monday will probably be a cheat day as well, but I don't want it to be nearly as extreme.

And the war crime I committed in the men's room of Lowe's grocery is also a pretty strong motivator to eat better.

Late night supper

Pretty good eats, but probably more calories than I needed for the day.

4.5oz of tuna-olive oil and garlic flavor
1 can of olives-6oz net weight.

Something like 75% fat, all good stuff.

More nibbles

Couldn't pass up on a pack of Trident gum and a 2oz pack of cheddar cheese, but I should have.

Nibbles

Noshed on another 2oz peppered beef stick. That's probably enough protein for the day.

Midday snack

Well, midday if you keep weird hours.

A 20oz cup of dark roast coffee with a heavy splash of half and half
1oz Jack Link's Original Beef Stick. Not the best thing to put in your body, but it's only 2 carbs, and delightfully greasy.

Feeling well-rested and focused, although that may just be because I'm not driving through a Wyoming snowstorm with an iced over windshield like
I was last night.

Sunday feast

Woke up with a few hours to go before driving, so I pigged out:

5 chicken wings, no breading, mildly hot, with some Ken's bleu cheese sauce
Pretty unsatisfying, but what do you expect from a truck stop deli?
The last 4oz of turkey lunch meat, dressed up with mustard and mayo
A few forkfuls of sauerkraut, leaving about 1/2 cup for later
A half can of turnip greens (with turnip root!), doused in vinegar.
A 20oz Dr. Pepper 10
A sip of EVOO, call it a teaspoon

Not a lot of good fat in this meal, and I really should be checking my blood sugar levels to see if artificial sweeteners like in Dr. Pepper and gum are making them spike.

Like winning the lottery

That's what finding a relatively clean truck stop restroom to take care of business in feels like. The essence of the tragedy of the commons, writ large.

Late night munchies

Had a 2oz jerky stick and a couple hard boiled eggs around 2 am. Good stuff, and way less glycemic stress than an English muffin.

Om nom nom

Was starting to feel a bit hungry, so I headed that off with a huge-ass lunch:

5 hard boiled eggs, with salt and pepper
2oz bag of pork rinds
A bag of mixed nuts, no salt. I make it with 1/4 cup of walnuts, 12 almonds, 4 Brazil nuts, and a half teaspoon of pine nuts. Very calorie dense, so I need to take it easy the rest of the day.

Laying cable

Dark, solid, well-formed. What a relief.

Morning feast

Had a big breakfast to try and keep the metabolic furnace stoked, even though I wasn't really hungry.

Somewhere between 4 and 6 ounces of sliced turkey, dressed up with a packet of mayo and a packet of mustard. I steal the good condiments from Panera.
Half a can of collard greens, doused in a shot of apple cider vinegar
A couple sips of EVOO. No more than two tablespoons, I'd say.

Turkey lunch meat is pretty unsatisfying all around. I'll be glad to see the last little bit of this pound-sized package gone.

Lost weekend

Didn't get to post yesterday, as I had to hit the ground running and start delivering some furniture. After my phone died in the wee hours of Friday morning, I had something like six more beers and an Irish car bomb. So.with the booze and the Mexican food, call it 2500 calories, with I don't even want to think how many carbs. Still, I had fun watching ice skating and getting sloppy drunk.

Woke up with a decent hangover, with a headache and feeling a bit unfocused. Just how you want to feel when you're dealing with Portland traffic! I didn't feel much like eating after that, but managed to choke down:

3 hard-boiled eggs, with a packet of iodized salt and pepper
A 20oz cup of coffee with a splash of half and half
2 Jack Link's jerky sticks, 4oz total

Got a little bit of exercise shuffling couches around on the back of the trailer, so other than spending five hours drinking, Friday was a smashing baby steps success.

Addendum

I should note that I am getting a really decent buzz off three beers. This low carb healthy eating thing may have its benefits.

Stumbling

I may.have gotten exuberant when payday rolled around and my direct deposit went through. I may have bought a carne asada takeout tray with a Mexican apple soda and then drank three beers while watching Olympic ice skating at a bar in Portland.

Back on the wagon.

Lunch + dinner= Linner?

Ah, Jack Link's, purveyor of fine jerky products. I made a 3.25 oz bag of their BBQ pork jerky the protein base of my evening meal, with a half can (call it a cup) of collard greens doused in an ounce or so of apple cider vinegar. For dessert I had a heaping spoonful of coconut oil, as the 18 grams of carbs in the jerky was a bit high. Will probably make my way through a couple packs of gum today as well.

Squeeze and relax

On the advice of my gym rat little sister, I've started squeezing my stomach muscles as hard as I can while still breathing and holding it as long as possible. The still breathing part is important, because I don't want to.pass out behind the wheel.

Salad for breakfast??!?

Woke up in Post Falls, ID, at the Flying J truck stop with an hour to go before delivering furniture in Spokane. After a satisfying, non-traumatic deuce (see below), I got a big ass BLT salad from the Subway there. I'm gonna Jared it up all in this bitch, yo! All the veggies except pickles, and four strips of bacon. No cheese, and a little plastic cup of their red wine vinegar. After putting on about three tablespoons of EVOO (hell, let's call it four, fat people have no idea about portion size) it would have been decadent enough, but I went ahead and threw on some more sliced turkey lunch meat, say four ounces or so. Call it in the neighborhood of 800-900 calories, a good 60% of them from the EVOO. Feeling blissfully replete right now.

Mind over matter

I realize this is probably asking for karmic retribution, but I am pretty lucky in that if I am travelling and in a place where I can poop without too much trauma, I will, and if there isn't a good place to go...I don't have to, usually.

There was one time in the desert outside Barstow that was a notable exception, but I'm blaming that on some questionable fish. It was a great learning experience in how much cleaning you can get done with a handful of napkins from the glovebox and a pair of underwear.

At any rate, I started the day with a pretty satisfying deuce. Kinda sloppy, but no strain.

Late dinner

I really have to commend the Town Pump chain of truck stops and gas stations in Montana. Their deli section has a decent array of healthy-ish choices. Their chef's salad is pretty basic-diced tomatoes, shredded cheddar, and a sliced hard-boiled egg, but it's on top of a decent amount of lettuce (iceberg, but better than nothing), and it goes well with some Bragg's Healthy Vinaigrette. I had that and a couple deviled eggs. Good times.

Snack time

Was bordering on feeling peckish, so I had:

1.5oz plain pork rinds
A handful of turkey lunch meat-maybe 3 oz or so?
A sip of EVOO-call it a teaspoon.

400 calories, say, with no carbs to speak of.

Brain fog

Felt a little unfocused and out of it for a few hours after breakfast yesterday. I've heard it's to be expected when you start low carbing it, but didn't expect it so soon. It's probably not noteworthy, but I want to have a record in case it comes back.

Lunch time!

Had a quick lunch on the run consisting of:

2 hard boiled eggs
1.5oz dry roasted almonds
Dark roast coffee with a double splash of half and half

That's in the ballpark of 400 calories, 23 grams of protein, 13 grams carbs, and 30 grams of fat. A pretty decent macronutrient ratio, although I probably should leave the dairy out. Maybe almond milk?

Oh, and how could I forget:

St. John's Wort: 3 500mg pills, twice a day. I tend to be a little bit depressive and after about six weeks of the Wort, I noticed my level of background dread receding. After another month or two, I started to just feel unaccountably ok with my life and also that maybe I could improve it with some work. Hence this blog.

Pills, pills pills

I take a fistful of pills and supplements in an attempt to stave off the meds that made me gain weight and be (more) depressed. They are:

Fish oil: 4 1000mg capsules, twice a day
Multivitamin: 1 horse pill, once a day. Keeps the scurvy and rickets away.
Vitamin D3: 2000IU, twice a day. It's hard for me to get sunlight that isn't filtered through a windshield.
Turmeric: it can't hurt, right? One pill, twice a day.
CoQ10: 300mg horse pill, once a day. Now that I'm trying to lose weight, it may start doing me some good.
Ginger: 2 550mg pills, twice a day. Supposed to help regulate blood pressure and prevent kidney damage. I have a friend who is in end stage renal failure and it doesn't look fun.
Cinnamon: 3 500mg pills, twice a day. I buy a Walmart brand that also has chromium. Supposed to help regulate blood sugar.
Kelp: 550mg pill, once a day. I don't use much salt, so. I want to be sure I get enough iodine.
Magnesium: 500mg pill, twice a day. Most people don't get enough, and if you're overweight like I am, you probably aren't absorbing minerals properly. So a little overkill here.
Potassium: 1 pill, not sure of the amount, once a day.
Niacin: 1 500mg pill. I buy the timed release Slo-Niacin brand. At one point I was on the prescription form, but it gave me the occasional flush. With Slo-Niacin I've had a couple flushes, but they were minor in comparison. Supposed to help regulate cholesterol, and I'm not going on statins unless they're forced on me.

I'll talk about prescriptions I used to take at a later date, and get a baseline for where my blood sugar and cholesterol numbers are in a week or so.

Morning deuce

Nothing like a big healthy dump to start the day, the kind that just slides out like a baby rhino coming into the world, but with way less cleanup. The kind that leaves you feeling lighter on your feet with a skip in your step.

Breakfast of champions

Wasn't really hungry, but managed to force down:

Two hard-boiled eggs
1/2 cup sauerkraut
A swig of EVOO

And of course, a fistful of vitamins. More on those later.

On not letting perfect be the enemy of the good

So during my shift today I chewed my way through two packs of sugarfree gum. Not very paleo, and possibly agitating to blood sugar levels, but tastier than the inside of my cheek. For dinner I enjoyed the following:

1.5oz Sweet Southern Heat pork rinds
1/2 cup turnip greens doused with a couple tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup sauerkraut-Bubbie's semi-pasteurized, wonderfully crunchy

Call it another 400 calories including the gum, and no real hunger today. I'd like to work more vegetables in going forward, but being on the road means a lot of them have to be canned, which means getting BPA. Right now I'm focusing on macronutrients, calories, and portion size, and when I feel like I have that under control, I'll start looking for a better source of veggies.

Baby steps

Managed to get in about ten minutes of walking in during my federally mandated half hour break. Go me.

Paleo Brunch

Started off w/a huge meal consisting of:

5 hard-boiled eggs
8oz corned beef (Boar's Head is the bomb, yo)
A shot of Bragg's apple cider vinegar and a shot of EVOO (California Olive Ranch)
Coffee with just a splash of half and half

Macronutrient wise, it's well over 60% fat with about 935 calories, 91 grams of protein, and less than 10 cars. And I probably won't be terribly hungry when I have a light dinner around 9 or so.